This is a question I have been asked so many times. People who knew me when I was younger knew me as the girl with the thick hair. So thick that I believed relaxing my hair was the only option.
To answer the question, my hair was dead. Just dead.
It was dull, had no life to it, because of all the chemical and heat damage I had caused it.
In high school, I would straighten, cut, dye and relax my hair all the time. I remember my mom saying "be careful or you won't have any more hair!"
Then I got to university and I realized she wasn't being mean, she was telling the truth.
My hair started falling out, my hairline was receding and I didn't know what to do. I thought I had pretty good hair regiment, with braiding, relaxing and using leave-in conditioners and deep conditioning (every three months). Turns out, I was just playing myself.
The tension from braiding my hair was pulling my edges out, the relaxing was burning it and causing it to break, my deep conditioning wasn't frequent enough to reverse any damage. My choice of shampoo definitely wasn't helping as all it did was dry it out. My hair was a MESS.
Finally, I decided maybe it was time to listen to the Qweens before me and just go natural. It took me a whole year to finally do it. Every time I would try I would get scared of the thickness of my hair (I know now that I look back I just want to smack myself). The more it grew the harder it was for me to keep up my old regime, which meant, for whatever silly reason, I just had to relax my hair because it just doesn't 'do natural.'
This is how a lot of us think when it comes to natural hair because of what society has made us think of it. We think it's too messy, it's too hard, it won't look good. But sis.... how can something that your body does naturally be bad. Unless it is putting your health at risk, it's not going to be bad. And chances are it doesn't work because of the products you're using (I'll post my haircare products later).
I used to think my curls wouldn't be pretty enough, but no. My curls are beautiful the way they are. Some days they are defined and you can see every kink and coil, other days (usually when it's time for a wash day) they aren't as defined, and that's fine.
I have fallen in love with my hair again and I am so proud of it. If I can do it, you can too.